He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
