I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
