im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this hospital has no fireball
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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