Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
