I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize