I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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