Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
