you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize