From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
