i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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