i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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