you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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