I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you didnt know i had herpes?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize