I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
