just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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