I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Banned from zoo.
Again?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So. Much. Porn.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
