Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
