Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
