Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
