k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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