3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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