that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found puke in my bra..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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