im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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