Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
