note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so let's talk penis.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
