absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My hand turned me down
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
