Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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