so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
