Apparently you make a good broom.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
