wrigley field is MILF paradise
only you would photoshop your dick
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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