How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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