Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I looked at my own cervix.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
