One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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