i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
