I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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