Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
