i need an iv and a liver transplant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
