It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
