Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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