eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
