i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Shame - the story of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
