Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
