so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ladies don't puke and tell
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
