why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BRING THE BAGELS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
