i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
