obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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