You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
