found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
