Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
