so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I love you. Go after that dick
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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