Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
