Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
