this will be a night to untag.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
