So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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