She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
