there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
