I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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