You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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