just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
