I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
