I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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